There is empathy. There is pitty. And then there is compassion. Compassion is the solution for being judgemental. It is the opposite of it.
It is about using empathy to try and build a hypothesis (which is to be used only for ourselves and not be seen as a given proven fact) about what must be going on in the other person. It might be a hypothesis about the person`s background, their upbringing, their motivation but also their challenges.
Trying to understand these, will help us not to judge. It will help us to look at people differently, with love.
Compassion roots in love. It feels like it. At least a little bit.
And others will feel it to. As they do when we are being judgemental. And what you notice is that there will be shift in how people react to you, how they interact and engage with you, what they are willing to contribute and how they want to build a relationship with you.
It is nothing that happens on a consious level on their end. It is something that happens on the level of intuition, of instinct. And also on a somatic level. Their body will tell them who you are and how to interact with you.
And yes, we need judgement. We judge based on the structures and systems that we have created to interact with the social around us. And we judge to understand if something is fitting into these systems or not. It is something that gives us a sense of orientation, of safety, of familiarity and understanding.
But judgement becomes problematic as soon as we start building relationships based on it. When we use it for orientation in everything. When….
